John "Theodore" Constantine

Okay, we finally saw Constantine tonight (because, y'know, it's Easter, so we may as well watch a religious movie...)

Until now I've been very much in the "give it a chance" camp: I know it'll never be 100% faithful to the comic. I accept that Keanu is atrociously wrong for the part. But I'll think of him as John Constantine's American cousin, remove my preconceptions, and it may well be a decent movie despite all that.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

( Spoilers below... )